Why be a Solitary?

One of the problems I have always had with organized religion is that all of them - at least all that I've ever seen - have a lot to atone for in their histories. For others, it's their present activities that's the problem. From the systematic persecution of women in the Islamic world to the multiple atrocities committed in the name of Roman Catholicism, I've never found a world religion that didn't have blood on it's hands - either literally or metaphorically. In fact, many of today's organized religions seem more focused on persecution of gays and lesbians than on the promotion of godliness and personal faith.

Knowing what has been done - and officially sanctioned - in the name of established religion, I've become deeply skeptical of them and could never see myself joining one. To do so would be to provide my own approval to these atrocities, both past and present. I know others have found ways of looking at the history of organized religions without losing their own faith in their precepts, but I've never been able to get past it.

That being said - there's a lot I don't agree with in the major segments of the pagan world as well. From the nearly maniacal feminism of many groups to the rampant heterosexism of others and the amateur theatrics of many, I can't seem to find a home in the gatherings of modern pagans, either. If I am going to lend my voice to a group, I'm not willing to compromise my personal moral code to do so.

So what's a pagan to do? We, the majority of modern pagans in the world, choose to be Solitary Practicioners.

So just what is a Solitary? A Solitary Practicioner is someone who chooses to acknowledge, celebrate and/or worship the divine in completely private practice. We are congregations of one. We are, quite simply, electing to experience the divine in that most personal of relationships - just between ourselves and the Diety.

Many of my Christian friends don't understand this. For them, religion is not just about faith - fellowship with those of common belief is just as important. For me, those are separate concepts and independent goals. I would hazard a guess that most Solitaries feel that way. Although we may find common cause with others of varied faith systems from time to time, we separate the act of divine communion from fellowship with others.

There are some key benefits to being a Solitary - the first and foremost is that you never have conflicts about dogma or teachings, no struggle over the mission of the church, no ceding of authority to a pastor or priest. We are completely free to worship in the manner we see best and trust our ability to act as our own spiritual guides. We may seek guidance from wise souls or gurus from time to time, but that is different from looking to them for leadership. We take responsibility for our actions, responsibility for our own morals, and responsibility for ourselves.

In my own case, being a Solitary is also important to my ability to fully experience the divine without distractions, external or internal. As a former theatrical professional, the presence of other people invariably puts my brain in "actor-mode" and interferes with my ability to openly and authentically express myself in divine practice. In fact, I've found that I don't sing, dance or even speak when I cast a circle and call the corners. I barely even move. Those activities bring out the performer, which is not conducive to a meditative state. My spiritual practice is intensely personal, very private, and not intended for an audience or to be shared.

In my public life, I rarely talk about my faith. If asked, I'm always willing to open a discussion - as much to learn as to teach - but I don't often share without prompting. In this, I am like many in the neo-pagan world. Wicca and neo-paganism are non-prosteletizing faiths by design. We don't convert people, and we certainly don't preach the wrongness of others and the rightness of ourselves. Most pagans come to be pagans as a personal choice. There is no grand moment of conversion, no "born again" hystrionics. For most, it's a private and very profound moment - for Solitaries, it remains so.

Being a Solitary has it's challenges, though. First off, because you aren't handed a cookbook for the faith when you start (Bible, Talmud, Koran, etc.) you really do have to start at the beginning with the simple question: "What do I believe?" For me, that was the start of the journey, and it's a question I ask myself on a regular basis. The answer has changed over the years as I have studied and grown. That growth process leads you to new questions, and you develop a belief system over time, rather than being handed whole cloth at the beginning.

On balance, though - I'm glad I've ended up on this path. It has provided the opportunity to ask all kinds of interesting questions, and continues to shape the way I look at my world. Being a Solitary is work, but it's enjoyable and fascinating work.